I haven't....

I haven't written for a while.
I haven't been free for even longer.
I haven't been satisfied.
I haven't been happy.
I haven't been smiling.
I haven't been searching.
I haven't been dreaming.
I haven't been acting.
I haven't been glad.
I haven't been true with myself.
I haven't been honest.
I haven't been fascinating.
I haven't been original.
I haven't laughed for eternity.
I haven't looked Him straight in the eyes.
I haven't been brave.
I haven't been nice.
I haven't been kind.
I haven't been bubbly.
I haven't been considerate.
I haven't been daring.
I haven't been hopeful.
I haven't been expressive.
I haven't been outspoken.
I haven't been opinionated.
I haven't been unforgettable.
I haven't been unique.
I haven't been stubborn.
And most of all,
I haven't been me!

I think I'm not the only one here. Some of my closest friends feel like this a lot of the time. I suspect it's a teenage phase - something we have to go through in order to grow up, to become who we are supposed to become... US.
Honestly, I really don't have a clue why I wrote up there,I guess it was just waiting there to be said.

Yersterday I watched an incredibly inspiring movie ----> click
It made me stop and contemplate some things, alone and so on. It made me want to become and author. It made me want to have EXPERIENCES, TO LIVE LIFE, TO MAKE IT PERFECT, TO FALL IN LOVE AND TO HAVE NO REGRETS!

I keep listening to this one song over and over and over, daydreaming and imagining things. I know I shouldn't but I just can't help myself. Truthfully, I'm just harming myself more by thinking about these things than if I wasn't, I have to get used to it - that's just how it is :c

Elliot Smith- Between the Bars

Will be writing soon because it's Teacher's Day on Monday and I have a day off.... Will be reading lots and thinking about this....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some photos that are mesmerising...

 

The Smiths



Over the last 24-48 hours, I think I have developed the fastest growing obsession of the century(Okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but you get the point).

Some of you may think that it's late for me to be discovering such an iconic band in my life, however, I assure you - I've heard of them before, it's just that I didn't appreciate their music and their unique sound like I do now.

 

Both of my parents were huge fans, and yesterday over Skype (I'm in Poland, my dad in England) I just randomly started 'The Smiths' topic with my dad and...

We talked for ages about them, he even recommended me a few of his favourite songs from their album - 'The Queen is Dead'!!!

If I can even say this, I'm still at the stage where everything is work in progress (metaphorically speaking). I need a few days to actually listen to more of their songs, and to all you guys out there who use your System 1's too often here's TWO CRUCAL TIPS:

1. Whenever hearing a new song, give it a chance before categorising it into a YES or NO box. Allegedly, you have to listen to a piece of music at least 5 times to actually know if you like it or not.
2. CLICK this...bookworms-this is for you!

Outfits (collection n.2)

I'm in the middle of developing my new style; everything about me now is 'work in progress'. It must be the age :)))

 Overall, I've been happy lately - no negative thoughts, I've become stronger emotionally (thanks to the people around me and especially my surroundings!)

 

So here it is, the outfit for the day :)

- Ania's White T-Shirt

- Second- Hand Trench Coat (bought yesterday with Martynka)

- Shorts (Primark)

- Leggings

- Daddy's Tie

- Black Army Boots

- Earrings (olaboga shop shop shop)

 

 

Learning.

Writing comes as a gift. I wish I could write posts everyday, but even if I had the time to, there wouldn't be any sense - I'd have nothing to input in your lives.

Over the last week, I've mostly had good days :) My friends have been a great help in this and I try to keep myself occupied a lot of the time, so that I can't physically think about my so-called 'problems'. THERE'S ONE TIP FOR YOU <3 and I'm sure you guys have this feeling from time2time too...

Saturday was interesting. I went to Seamus Heaney's memorial poet meeting thingy and learnt a LOT. My mum kind of made me go, in the end, I'm really glad. Already, reading a bit of Joseph's O'Connor's 'The shorter Irish male' I managed to bump into a reference. The feeling was, well, what it was - nice! I'm sure most of you have this from time to time. It just makes you smile for a change :)

Seamus Heaney was a Noble Prize Winner and was born in Ireland. His poems are worth reading, I strongly recommend them. Link right here.. you're just one click away!

MUSIC

A list of my favourite artists at the moment. (This ranges from jazz to indie rock):

1. The XX (indie-pop/ alternative) listen:)
2. Cranberries (indie rock/alternative) listen:)
3. The Arctic Monkeys (rock) listen:) 
4. Rhye (indie musical duo) listen:)
5. Carlos Santana (blues rock/ jazz rock) listen:)
6. Al Di Meola (jazz fusion/ latin jazz) listen:)

And of course classics like:

- Nina Simone

- Ella Fitzgerald

- Louis Armstrong

- Frank Sinatra

- John Lee Hooker

- Dave Brubeck etc.

 

I wish you all a beautiful evening full of enlightenment <33